Punning Around
by MJbookworm07
Summary: Leo and Calypso are stuck on the island of Ogygia and Leo is tired of Calypso's salty behavior. So he decides to try and cheer her up with some of his best material! Written for the "Punmaster" challenge hosted by My-Mental-Mind. Disclaimer: I do not own these marvelous characters or their story.


Leo Valdez waltzed around the island trying to find something to do. Calypso kept working on that dang raft, ignoring any attempt at communication, except for when she glared at him. Those glares were worse than Annabeth's...if that was even possible! He'd back away instantly and go back to moping around.

It had been about a day when he had finally had enough. He was polishing Festus' head, mumbling to the dragon angrily.

"I don't know, Festus, she's just always angry and she won't even try! It's like she's never even laughed before-how is that even possible?"

He shook his head and then suddenly-

"Festus! You are _pure_ genious!" Leo grinned wildly. "I'll just have to make her laugh-pull out all of my best jokes." He brought his index finger to his chin, thinking intently.

"Tell me what you think, Festus: I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!" The metal dragon shuddered. Leo rolled his eyes. Oh come _on_. that was hilarious. Some best friend you are."

The next day, Leo found Calypso gathering materials in the surrounding forest. She was cutting vines off of trees in order to make rope for the raft.

"Hey, Sunshine," he greeted smoothly.

She barely even reacted to his presence, simply saying "Don't call me that."

Leo wasn't phased, she said this quite frequently. Instead, he leant against the tree she was working on and gave her his best smirk.

"Hey, so what'd the tree say to the bush?"

Calypso froze and looked at him as if he were crazy. "Plants don't talk, Valdez. What are you playing at?"

"That's VINE with me!" Leo nearly shouted, throwing his hands out as if to say _ta-da!_ as he waited for her to figure it out.

She just stared at him and then immediately turned around to continue what she was doing. Leo's face fell as he pouted.

"Vine, be that way!" Still nothing. "I guess I'll just make like a tree and leaf then..."

"Go away, Valdez."

The demi-god let out a loud huff before finally sauntering away. "Whatever, sunshine."

It went on like that for the whole day. Leo would find Calypso whenever he could and try to make her laugh with his best and most ridiculous puns. Puns such as: "Water you doing?" when she was down by the sea and "Well you don't have to be so salty about it!" for when he had accidentally splashed her with the water. But he had no such luck, she wouldn't even crack a smile! He was starting to wonder if Sunshine, his nickname for her, was actually more ironic than he originally intended.

He started to lose all hope of ever getting this infuriating girl to laugh by the time dinner rolled around. They were eating quietly and it was grating on Leo's ears. He just needed to fill it with absolute nonsense.

"So, Sunshine, what would your zodiac sign be?" he crossed his fingers that she would say "Leo" so that he could make his joke.

"I'm older than the zodiac." Dang. Well, in all fairness, that joke hadn't worked on Percy either.

Still, he wasn't going to be stopped. "Oh, so then your star sign would be a black hole?"

Calypso rolled her eyes at his absurdity. "Really, a black hole? You mean the thing that causes instant death?"

"Yeah, I guess that was a little dark."

"Zeus, take me now," she pleaded at the cave ceiling.

Leo grumbled and glared into his stew. "If you're so miserable, why don't you just try escaping. I mean, clearly, you can build a raft for yourself."

The Titan stared at her food as if she were wondering whether or not to answer him. Finally, she did. "Oh believe me, I would if I could. But leaving would send Zeus into a rage and it would probably bring down a whole apocalypse."

That had shocked Leo. "Apocalypse?"

Apparently, this threw Calypso into a fury. "Are you kidding me?" she started shouting. "You don't seriously don't know what an apocalypse is?"

"No, of course I-"

Calypso wasn't listening anymore. She started shouting at the ceiling. "Are you kidding me, Zeus? How much more are you going to make me take of this? First you torment me by taking away those I care about, and now when I finally want some peace and quiet you won't let him leave! Not only is he arrogant, not funny, and a pain in my side, he's also _dumb_?! Are you trying to kill me?"

Leo had had enough, he jumped up and shouted at her. "So what if I don't know what apocalypse means?! It's not the end of the world!"

Of course he knew what it meant, he wasn't a total dunce. It infuriated him that the first thought in her mind was that he didn't know what it meant. Why did it matter anyway? Brains wasn't the only important thing, and he was sick and tired of her going after every little part of him.

He was standing, fists clenched and warming up. Calypso was staring at him quizzically, having gone quiet. Leo thought that maybe she was surprised by his anger when she suddenly started laughing.

Now _that_ confused _him_. He hadn't said anything funny. "Hey, stop that. What are you even laughing at?"

She didn't answer, just kept laughing to the point where she had to sit down. That completely disarmed him as he watched her. He had to admit, she had a nice laugh.

Finally, she calmed enough to answer, even though it was broken up by laughter. "You've been making puns all day...and just now...you didn't even realize…" she completely dissolved.

Leo thought back to what he had said- _So what if I don't know what apocalypse means? It's not the end of the..._ OH! He started laughing alongside her. He _had_ made an unintentional pun! Finally, he had gotten her to laugh, even if it was completely by accident.

Together, the Titan and the demi-god laughed together over the ridiculousness of the situation, starting to actually enjoy each other's company for the first time in a while.


End file.
